Like some gargantuan geometric figure made of groceries, the USDA food pyramid has been the cornerstone of America’s perception of healthy eating habits. Or so we were taught. The pyramid’s construction was simple: A foundation consisted of whole grains that held up smaller groupings of fruits and veggies. Atop our glorious produce glared the protein and dairy categories. Images of entire Thanksgiving turkeys or full glasses of milk taught us the nutritional importance of flesh and mucous.
Fast forward to 2005 when the government revised the classic pyramid. This sleek new design’s redistribution was mostly accomplished by turning the pyramid on its side. Add a little hiker marching up a set of adjoining steps (hiking his way to death, no doubt), and presto, new pyramid!
And now, if any of you have a kid, you’ll see the USDA has been at it again, making the guidelines even easier for developing little minds. It breaks the dinner plate down into easy-to-recognize sections, categorizing our grub into fruits, veggies, protein, grains and dairy.
Uh, Hold Up
But something may be amiss in this “revision” equation. The USDA is responsible for creating and revising these monuments to our nutrition education—fine. But the USDA is also responsible for subsidy programs, meaning they decide where and what money goes to farmers and ranchers. That’s meat and grains, folks—two chunks of the pyramid or plate of your choosing. The committees that make up these magical pyramids usually consist of members who have, in one way or another, ties to these mega-industries (gasp!). You mean, people with a connection to the dairy industry have a say in what goes on the pyramid, and they chose dairy? Conflict of interests? Oh, I think so.
So, what to do? Who to believe? What the hell happened to TRUST?
Veganize It, Don't Criticize It
Well, healthy bitches stick together, and we can reclaim that damn pyramid. With a little shuffling, editing and revising, we can make a pyramid free of animal-based products. Our pyramid also happens to be free of lies, selfishness and deception, but we won't go into that.
Related: Rah-Rah Rawmio!
Voluptuous Veggies
First things first: Our foundation is of fruits and vegetables. Sassy, sexy greens of every shade, including dark green kale, collard greens and spinach should be the stars of the show, but variety is key, ladies. Taste the rainbow. Fruits and vegetables of every color make up our big, beautiful base. As far as portion control, eat your little heart out, especially with greens.
Great Grains
Next up on the ladder is grains. Grains should not dominate our plate like the USDA would like us to believe. We don’t have personal stock in big agra, so we can confidently portion out our whole grains accordingly. Variety is just as important here, though. Mix it up with quinoa, rice, barley (if you can tolerate gluten), millet, amaranth and any other exciting grains you can get your hands on. Aim for generous amounts throughout the day.
Perfect Proteins
Moving up another level we see a sight resembling the classic food pyramid, but instead of filling our faces with ham, eggs or steak for protein, we turn to healthy, clean choices like beans, legumes, nuts and seeds. Likewise, instead of guzzling cow’s milks, yogurts or cheeses, we can find sensible, fortified substitutes from non-dairy milk or cereals. Both of these categories should be consumed in moderation throughout the day.
Fabulous Fats
Finally, at the tip-top of our bullshit-free pyramid is where we’d find oils, sweets, salt and nutritional supplements like B12. But unlike the traditional pyramid, we do need appropriate amounts of the foods at the top of this list for sources of healthy fats, minerals, vitamins, etc.
Consider this a nutrition refresher in the school of life. We’re purging USDA nonsense, honey. Just because you learned it ages ago doesn’t mean you can’t re-learn it correctly—or share the gospel with your meat-eating friends and family.
Is the food pyramid outdated? How does a vegan cope? Let us know in the comments section!
Sara Crolick, Guest Blogger
Sara Crolick is a little lady on the quest for all things green, nutritious, and joy-inducing. After a Lupus diagnosis in 2008, Sara revamped her diet and lifestyle, addressing symptoms with good food, a happy spirit, and a whole lot of laughter. Creator of HerbvaceousLady.com, Sara writes from her experiences as a Lupus patient and a thriving vegan. When she’s not spreading love on the web, she’s raising two little humans with her man in Pennsylvania.
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